It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. - Mark Twain Occasionally a quote requires no further elaboration. This is one of those times. But because golf has provided a wealth of quotes worthy of remembering, I've managed to cobble together a few of the wittier observations about the sport. Twain also wrote that, "Golf is a good walk spoiled." Comedian Buddy Hackett didn't like golf very much, either. He said, "Golf is more fun than walking naked in a strange place, but not much." Former U. S. President Gerald Ford joked, "I know I am getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators." An excellent golfer, Hall of Fame baseball player Mickey Mantle said, "He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie." In contrast, famed humorist Will Rogers said, "The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf." Al Boliska asked, "Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?" Humorous author Dave Barry wrote, "For me, the worst part about playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball." James Patrick Murray said, "Show me a man who is a good loser, and I'll show you a man playing golf with his boss." According to actor Jack Lemmon, "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball." Actor Dick van Dyke added, "I found out that retirement means playing golf, or I don't know what the hell it means. To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing." Former professional golfer Gary Player once said, "As we all know...golf is a puzzle … [Read more...]
The Pearl: 8 April 2015
The Pearl : 2 April 2015
You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" – Dave Barry Because the Pearl on April Fool's Day was a serious thought, naturally I looked for something humorous to post on the day after. Dave Barry is a very funny writer. In my opinion, there is nothing more difficult to write than a full length novel that is hilarious from start to finish. Dave Barry's Big Trouble is one of two such novels I've read that had me laughing out loud virtually from cover to cover. The other was Handling Sin by Michael Malone. I cannot recommend any two books more enthusiastically -- not even books that I've written myself. In spite of the fact that I'm a huge admirer of his work, I must say that Dave Barry is absolutely wrong about dogs in his remark above. I only chose the quote because I thought it was funny, not because I think it's true. He's appealing to the common but mistaken assumption that dogs don't understand words, and only react to one's tone of voice. However, if Mr. Barry were ever to visit our home, he would discover rather quickly that my dogs do know some English, even if they can't speak the language. Wyatt does try to tell my son that he loves him, though. And every one of our dogs recognizes the word "treat" and responds with great enthusiasm, no matter the tone of voice. Granted, nobody likes to be yelled at, so some will probably approach with tail tucked between legs. But they want the treat. For that very reason, my wife and I haven't … [Read more...]
