You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!" – Dave Barry Because the Pearl on April Fool's Day was a serious thought, naturally I looked for something humorous to post on the day after. Dave Barry is a very funny writer. In my opinion, there is nothing more difficult to write than a full length novel that is hilarious from start to finish. Dave Barry's Big Trouble is one of two such novels I've read that had me laughing out loud virtually from cover to cover. The other was Handling Sin by Michael Malone. I cannot recommend any two books more enthusiastically -- not even books that I've written myself. In spite of the fact that I'm a huge admirer of his work, I must say that Dave Barry is absolutely wrong about dogs in his remark above. I only chose the quote because I thought it was funny, not because I think it's true. He's appealing to the common but mistaken assumption that dogs don't understand words, and only react to one's tone of voice. However, if Mr. Barry were ever to visit our home, he would discover rather quickly that my dogs do know some English, even if they can't speak the language. Wyatt does try to tell my son that he loves him, though. And every one of our dogs recognizes the word "treat" and responds with great enthusiasm, no matter the tone of voice. Granted, nobody likes to be yelled at, so some will probably approach with tail tucked between legs. But they want the treat. For that very reason, my wife and I haven't … [Read more...]
The Pearl: 1 April 2015
Any fool can write a novel but it takes real genius to sell it. -- J. G. Ballard Today is April Fool's Day, when it becomes customary to pull childish pranks on friends and family before shouting "April Fool!" Some may find this hard to believe, but I've actually outgrown this annual ritual, reducing the number of ways by which I may be caught behaving childishly by one. No, this isn't a silly prank or a gag. Until this morning, I had never heard of the name "J. G. Ballard" before. But I did know of his work -- he wrote the novels Empire of the Sun and Crash, both of which were made into movies. I try to heed good advice in order to learn from the success of others. I've figured out the "fool" part -- I know how to write a book. Six have now been published, and a seventh will come out later this year. The "genius" of knowing how to sell them in mass quantities has thus far eluded me, however. Much work remains to be done, if I hope to one day become a genius. … [Read more...]
Unforgivable sin
Once upon a time, Jack Henry Abbott was serving time for forgery and manslaughter. However, Abbott managed to become pen pals with author Norman Mailer from his prison cell and then turned their correspondence into his bestselling book titled In the Belly of the Beast, which received a rave review from the New York Times. Despite the fact prison officials vehemently opposed his release and considered him unstable, Abbott was paroled after numerous liberal "Hollywood" elitists had championed his cause. Actress Susan Sarandon even went so far that she honored Abbott by naming her son with actor Tim Robbins "Jack Henry." Yet six weeks after his release from prison and with a nice five-figure advance on royalties in his pocket, Jack Henry Abbott senselessly murdered his waiter in a New York restaurant only the day before his book received that untimely rave New York Times review. It wasn't merely because he wrote well that Abbott was so readily forgiven his many horrible sins by people like Norman Mailer and Susan Sarandon. Jack Henry Abbott became successful in part because he wrote what liberal elitists wanted to read -- about how the criminal justice system was unfair to criminals, regardless of whether or not the criminal actually deserved punishment as decreed by our judicial system. What the elitists forgot, of course, was that forgiveness requires repentance. If you aren't sorry for your sins (all crimes are sins, but not all sins are crimes) then you don't deserve forgiveness. Jack Henry Abbott should not have been released from prison. Even so, … [Read more...]
The Pearl: 31 March 2015
You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might also pray in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance. – Khalil Gibran You're familiar with the expression, "Great minds think alike?" Proving the truth of that old proverb, the Lebanese poet Khalil Gibran and Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw have both said basically the same thing about prayer: that we pray for the wrong reasons. We don't give thanks to God for what we have. Instead, we mostly beg our Creator to give us what we don't have, as if God exists to serve us. … [Read more...]
Stupidity in higher education
If you don't know about the latest scandal revealed by James O'Keefe and Project Veritas, you should check out the link below. An undercover reporter posing as a student advocate for Hamas and ISIS was told by an assistant dean at Cornell University that representatives of those terrorist organizations would be welcome on campus, and "grant" money might even be made available to help pay for the expenses of their visit. An associate dean at an Ivy League school doesn't know that ISIS are the terrorists beheading the prisoners they don't burn alive? Or doesn't care? … [Read more...]
