[AUTHOR'S NOTE: This short story originally appeared in the first edition of the anthology God Makes Lemonade. It was the first time I received a check for something I wrote. A friend asked where he could find the story, which reminded me that I've never shared it on my blog. The story is very personal, emotional, and true. The "baby" in the story is now a gorgeous cheerleader in high school.] The Hummingbird Lisa heard a tapping sound but when she checked the front door, no one was there. It wasn’t the first time during the past year she’d thought she might be losing her mind. Given all that had happened, it was understandable. Her beautiful daughter Stephanie dropped out of high school during her senior year because of excessive absences for a mysterious illness that turned out to be morning sickness. A surreal sequence of events caused a rollercoaster of emotion through the course of her pregnancy. In the end a beautiful baby girl named Ava Grace was born, but months of pain and anguish preceded that happy delivery. The baby’s father was 21 year old Josh. Both Lisa and her husband liked the polite young man who seemed to calm their impulsive and unpredictable daughter. Stephanie and Josh met at church. Both families were cautious about their relationship given their age difference because a few years can make a big difference at their age. Although the young couple needed to complete their education, Lisa secretly thought Josh might be the right man for Stephanie one day. His tender and caring nature was demonstrated by the small things he did when he was … [Read more...]
The federal budget
Do you remember the very end of the movie Animal House? Future U.S. Senator John Blutarsky drives away (presumably toward Washington, D. C.) with his kidnap victim/bride-to-be, toward a career in politics. The scriptwriters didn't warn us that the Senator (who flunked out of college with a zero point zero G.P.A.) was going to be given an unrestricted credit card with no limits, or that the American taxpayer will ultimately get stuck with the bill -- because that isn't even remotely funny -- but it's absolutely true. During the 2016 fiscal year, tax revenue collected by the U.S. Treasury was approximately $2.99 trillion dollars. Even more amazingly, the federal government managed to spend about $3.54 trillion dollars, increasing the national debt by another $500 billion dollars. What spendthrifts we've elected to Congress! If only we were talking about Monopoly money, the national debt wouldn't be that big of a deal. However, these are real U.S. dollars we're talking about. Eventually, that debt will need to be repaid. I believe I read somewhere that every American citizen -- every man, woman, and child -- would need to come up with more than $60,000 in order to pay their share of the federal debt. In 2008, at the beginning of President Obama's first term, the federal debt was roughly $10.7 trillion dollars. As of this writing, the federal debt has grown to more than $19.9 trillion dollars and counting, with no end in sight. How is this even possible? Part of the problem is that Congress and the federal government have totally divorced themselves from … [Read more...]
An open letter to Senator John McCain
Dear Senator McCain, I'd like to begin by expressing my sincere gratitude for your time spent in military service. You showed remarkable courage under extreme duress, enduring torture by the enemy while refusing an early release, or any special treatment. As a result, you've suffered from permanent physical disabilities after six years in captivity. I have enjoyed a lifetime as a free citizen in the greatest nation on the face of the earth, because of brave warriors like you. Thank you for your service, sir. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Secondly we, the people, recently learned the very serious news about your cancer diagnosis, and I wanted to convey my sympathy to you. Twenty years ago my father died from that exact same disease, a glioblastoma tumor in his brain, so I am well aware of the challenge you face. It was shortly after his retirement that my father began acting uncharacteristically confused and disoriented. He also complained of a constant headache. An MRI confirmed that he had a large brain tumor, a glioblastoma. The neurologist diagnosed him on a Tuesday, and he had surgery the following Monday, but never regained consciousness. About two weeks later, his life support was disconnected. I'm glad your surgery was more successful than his, and I wish you the best as you continue to recover. While I'm fairly confident that a sitting U.S. Senator such as yourself has access to the very best healthcare in the world (probably much better care than a retired serviceman living in Savannah, Georgia would ever get), I do not blame my father's … [Read more...]
Planning my own funeral
[AUTHOR'S NOTE: If you don't follow the links and listen to the music, it will be your loss, not mine. I'm listening to every song as I check the links in preview mode. There is a point being made with each song selection.] A friend of mine likes to wish me a happy birthday with the encouragement to have another pleasant journey around the sun. Thank you, Sir Charles, I believe that I will celebrate my birthday. But today I'd like to plan a very different kind of celebration. When I was young and foolish, I appreciated the cynical perspective of Roger Waters and Pink Floyd, expressed with a faintly similar ring in their classic song Time: So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older, Shorter of breath and one day closer to death. Unfortunately, it seems the older I get, the better I was. And now that I'm getting a little shorter of breath and closer to death myself, I don't play that song nearly as often as I once did. The lyrics remain brilliant, but they are also depressing as hell. Thanks for that reminder! On the other hand, death is...natural. The end of life is part of the life experience. There's no need to get all worked up about something that is guaranteed to happen. While I'm fully cognizant of my own mortality, I personally don't like to dwell on negative thoughts. I want to enjoy life to the best of my ability as long as there is quality, and I have been blessed with extraordinary genetics. But I have no desire to prolong the … [Read more...]
People who think they know everything
[FULL DISCLOSURE: Herman L. Mays, Jr. recently published a somewhat ruthless review of my book Counterargument for God, which may lead some readers to conclude this particular article has been written to gain some measure of revenge. However, after reading the rather vitriolic exchanges between academic/intellectual types such as Bart Ehrman and Richard Carrier, I'm convinced that hostile rhetoric is now a perfectly acceptable form of criticism. Therefore, I won't be mincing my words, either.] Professor Herman L. Mays, Jr. teaches at Marshall University, and he's probably a very nice guy (Anybody who can make me laugh out loud can't be all bad in my book). And when I read the following sentence his review of my book, I literally burst out laughing: To say Leonard's book should be taken with a grain of salt gives undue credit to the power of salt to ease the swallowing of the foulest of meals. I have to admit, that's a pretty clever zinger. Could his rhetoric be exaggerated? That's not for me to say. Because my brain often works in strange and unconventional ways, when I read his little quip my mind wandered back in time to revisit an old installment of the comic strip Bloom County, in which Opus the Penguin wrote a scathing review of the movie Benji Saves the Universe. He described the movie as achieving "new levels of badness" -- could I be as equally untalented a writer? Given his perspective as an academic who earns his paycheck teaching evolutionary biology, it shouldn't be terribly surprising that Professor Mays took exception to my criticisms of Darwin's … [Read more...]
