[AUTHOR’S NOTE: none of the songs on this list will be specific to a certain team. So there will be no “Glory, Glory to Old Georgia”, “Hunker Down Hairy Dawgs”, or “Georgia On My Mind” songs on this list just because I personally like them because then the list would get unmanageable and require acknowledgment of songs such as “Sandstorm” which I can’t stand. The only omission that was a difficult choice was “Rocky Top” because I love the disturbing lyrics, but for the sake of consistency, it won’t be here, either.]
It’s almost Christmas, which means it’s also almost bowl season for college football. I don’t want to antagonize the atheists in my audience by their personal religious beliefs (or lack thereof) during the holiday season and politics isn’t exactly in the spirit of the holiday, so I’ve decided to do something a little more fun and different, and that is to make up a list of the best, most appropriate songs that could be during any game in any sport. So without further ado, let’s start at the bottom of this short list and work our way up to the top, shall we?
The song on this list that lyrically makes the least sense is Gary Glitter’s somewhat catchy tune officially known as “Rock n Roll part 2”, but usually referred to as the “Hey” song for obvious reasons. All you have to do is shout “Hey!” on the right beat, so it is something of a crowd pleaser. Drinking heavily before or during the game does increase the degree of difficulty in getting the timing down, though.
And timing is everything, especially in sports. After all, you don’t want your team to be offsides or your drunken shouting to be off-beat, do you?
Some songs have pretty stupid or creepy lyrics, if you actually pay attention to them. Or, they are being performed by stupid, creepy people like Gary Glitter.
Have you ever read the lyrics to Rocky Top? Pretty disturbing, especially if you take them literally. One verse seems to be bragging about bestiality and another murdering a couple of strangers (or perhaps government agents) looking for a moonshine still. But musicians are artists, and that means they’re probably a little bit crazy. So we indulge them.
One step (or maybe only a half step) up the evolutionary food chain from “Rock n Roll Part 2” by incarcerated pedophile Gary Glitter is “Song 2” by Blur. There are some actual lyrics besides the chorus, but that’s usually all that we hear, the “Woo Hoo!” refrain.
Just about every song on my list is famous for the music as much or more than the lyrics. One exception is a very recent discovery, and I cheerfully confess I’ve never heard it played before, during, or after any game in any sport…but it certainly ought to be. The lyrics are brilliant!
If you know me as a friend on social media, you know I love parodies and I have a rather strange sense of humor sometimes. This is one of those times.
This next song is not my favorite, but deserves to be on the list. It is most often played to produce an intimidating atmosphere for your home stadium or arena. It does help if your team has a stout defense.
It would seem to be more popular at basketball games than football or other sports, but the lyrics are not sport-specific.
The next song on my list might be my favorite in this category of “sports anthem” song. It’s just a great tune. The beauty of the song is its simplicity. The only instruments are guitar and drums. Jack White lays down a bass line to begin the song that you could practically walk upon. If this song doesn’t make you want to get up and dance when you hear that opening bass riff, then as Weird Al just suggested, your team must really suck.
Okay…we’ve dealt with all the pretenders, and now it’s time to move on to the undisputed champions of sports anthems: Queen. Most “sports anthem” lists put Brian May’s masterpiece at #1. Impossible to dispute, but I’m gonna leave it at number #3 for a reason…
“We Will Rock You” is typically played in tandem with the next song on my list (they were released on album as a medley). They go together like two peas in a pod. As the game clock is ticking down to all zeroes and victory is assured, this is inevitably played over loudspeakers and sung by the crowd:
And finally, as the vanquished opponent is leaving the field of battle, one more Queen song can be played as they depart. If the home team doesn’t represent a very classy fan base, it might also be played when a member of the visiting teams leaves the game with an injury, but that’s pretty tacky.
May the best team (the University of Georgia Bulldogs, of course) win!
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